Somnium Venenum
by Purplish
Summary: When a defective potion is given to the Gryffindors they start to change. There's Harry with his ever-changing hair and Lavender's snogging affair. Now that the Slytherins have also taken it, will love bloom as Malfoy finally reveals the truth? DMHG
1. Potions

            "My, my, what do we have here?" Professor Snape said, luring over a cauldron. "I distinctively remembered telling the class that the _Somnium Venenum will be a dark olive, did I not?" he continued._

Looking at the trembling, and almost-to-tears student, he sneered. "So why is your potion a bright orange, Miss Granger?"

Hermione stood there, struggling for an answer. "I-I don't know sir. I assume that-that someone tampered with my potion Professor."

 Professor Snape glared at her. "You assume Miss Granger? You should have proof of your accusation. Twenty points of Gryffindor for lying to a professor. Also you have failed for this assignment, Miss Granger."

Hermione gaped at the potions master. "But-but...Professor!" Tears were brimming in her eyes. 

"Further ten points for talking back, Miss Granger."

"But-surely I can...but...it's not my fault-" 

"Detention Miss Granger, for arguing with a professor."

"That's not fair!" the class turned to Ron Weasley, whose face was a bright red. 

"Mr Weasley, kindly refrain from talking in my class unless spoken to. And ten points off for shouting in class." Snape turned back to Hermione.

"It's not her fault if Parkinson added an extra Boomslang skin into her cauldron!" Harry yelled. 

"Fifteen points off for yelling in class and twenty for accusing your fellow classmate. Now unless you want to serve detention, I suggest you remain silent Mister Potter."

"But Professor! I saw Pansy adding it!" Lavender said, standing up and gesturing towards Pansy.

"Sit down Miss Brown. Ten points off Gryffindor!" Snape bellowed.

"Why?" Seamus asked.

"For talking without permission! And another ten points off, Mister Finnigan!" 

The class held in their breaths, awaiting for the potions master to continue his admonishment. A few snickers escaped form the Slytherin side, them finding it hard to hold in their glee. Ron's face turning crimson by the second as he glared daggers at the Slytherins.

Hermione's eyes watered. She failed! This might affect her whole grade for the term! She couldn't get less than a 100!!  '_I can't fail. I will not!_'

"Professor! Can I redo the potion? Or a make-up assignment?" Hermione asked frantically. Snape sneered at her. "Absolutely not, Miss Granger."

Hermione stared at Snape in disbelief while Ron, Harry and the rest of the Gryffindors glared at Snape with pure hatred. Snape simply ignored their intense gazes.

"And as further punishment for the Gryffindors rebuke," Snape continued, "Miss Granger and her housemates can demonstrate the results of a failed attempt of the _Somnium Venenum_. And, if the potion by any slim chance _does work, I'll grant you full marks Miss Granger."_

Snape conjured up a goblet and filled it with Hermione's orange potion. "Miss Granger, you have the privilege of going first," he sneered, nodding towards the goblet.

Hermione stiffly picked up the goblet and hesitantly swallowed it down. She blinked. It tasted quite nice indeed. Like strawberries and crème. '_Not bad_' she couldn't help thinking. In the background, she could hear Snape lecturing the class.

"The_ Somnium Venenum_, as I've told you is a potion which makes the drinker full of life. The drinker sees everything in life positive, and laughs at everything. Since its ingredients are quite harmless, a mess up in the potion will not result in any hazard effects."

Hermione, who had been feeling a tad light-headed, had a confused look on her face. Snape took no notice however. "Now for the rest of you," he commanded, waving a hand over the Gryffindors.

Some the Gryffindors gulped nervously. None of them moved, Hermione let out a small huff of anger and hurt, refusing to look at any of her housemates. Finally, Harry stood up. Slowly, he approached the refilled goblet. Gulping the potion down hastily, he joined Hermione with a smile. 

Neville stood up next and drank the potion too. Slowly one by one, the Gryffindors consumed Hermione's potion. Until all left was...

"Well Mister Weasley, you're the last one left." Snape sneered. He was looking particularly ecstatic that the Gryffindors were having to make a fool of themselves soon. Ron eyed the goblet nervously, still not moving an inch.

"Ron!" Hermione screeched, angry at the fact that her best friend did not even trust her. Sighing, Ron got up and drank the potion with a remorseful look on his face. "Hey! It's not bad! Can I have more?" Ron asked after drinking it. His reply was a smack on the upside of his head from Hermione.

"I believe the potion will fully take place momentarily," Snape informed, his tone, one of much joy. The Slytherins had looks on their faces which clearly said that the scene before them was one of utter delight. 

The Gryffindors stood uncomfortably in front of the class, the Slytherins smirking and sneering at them. A few minutes passed by before Snape questioned them.

"So, what do you think of detention?" He waited for the cheerful, positive responses from the Gryffindors with baited breath. So did the remainder of the students who were sitting down.

Hermione quickly waved her hand in the air eagerly. Without waiting for Snape's approval, she answered. "Detention is a time where the guilty student is given his or her punishment in an attempt to enable the pupil to learn his or her lesson." 

Snape did not look convinced and turned to another student. "And you Mister Weasley? What do you think of detention?" Ron just stared up at the professor. "It's useless. Just fun for the professors to rid the students of their free time."

Snape sneered. "Is that so Mister Weasley? Well then, I hope you don't mind if your free time today will be cut short. Detention with Miss Granger tonight at 7." Turning to the class, he continued. 

"As you can see nothing has happened. I suppose the mistake just made the potion ineffective. Miss Granger, you failed the assignment."

Hermione was horrified. "But, Professor, you can't! I do not flunk!"

Snape eyed her carefully before answering. "You won't fail overall Miss Granger, just for this assignment." Before Hermione could continue to argue with Snape, the bell rang. "Class dismissed." The Slytherins quickly packed up and left, but not before passing some comments to Hermione.

Hermione's eyes watered. Her first failed assignment. "It's alright Hermione," Neville said sympathetically. 

"Yeah Mione, that blood--blo-gi-" Ron frowned. "Why can't I curse?!" he finally asked, confused and enraged. Hermione just look at him blankly. Suddenly there was a gasp from the back of the Gryffindor crowd. Hermione peered through. There on the floor, was a cute, brown monkey. A squirrel monkey to be exact. 

"Is that...Parvati?" Ron asked.

"Lavender!" Dean yelled. Ron, Hermione and Neville turned their heads from the monkey to Lavender. Who was snogging Seamus senseless. Finally, when she had to breathe, she broke the kiss up. 

"Hermione! Help me!" Hermione heard someone frantically pulling her robes. She turned around to see Harry, hiding under a table, desperately clutching his hair. Which was bright red. Hermione's eyes widened.

"What happened to you? You--" Ron cut her off. "Your hair colour's the same as me mate! That's bl-blod-bloo--" 

"I don't know! One minute I was glaring at Snape, the next minute I saw my reflection in a nearby cauldron and I had _RED hair!!" Harry blurted, looking very panicky. Hermione looked at him oddly, then she glanced at everyone else in the room. From Lavender, who was now snogging Dean, to Seamus who was wailing beside them, to Neville who was patting Seamus on the back, to Parvati the monkey, to Ron who was still trying to swear and finally, Harry, with the bright red hair._

"I know what happened! These are the effects taken!" Hermione exclaimed. "Like Parvati being a monkey, and Seamus with his crying! Ron's not able to swear and Harry's red hair!"

"But...Hermione, nothing's wrong with me...and neither has Dean..." Neville broke out. 

"Maybe it hasn't had a chance to show yet, it's the potion's doings I bet!" Hermione stated.

"But I can't go walking around with red hair! I'll look like a clown!" Harry protested.

"Hey!" Ron said, highly offended.

"Too bad Harry, but we have to hurry, we have to get to Transfiguration, or we'll be sorry!" Hermione said, packing up her things. The rest got the hint and did the same, all rushing out of the dungeons and towards the Transfiguration classroom quickly. Lavender carried Parvati while Neville helped her with Parvati's bag.

As they approached the classroom with few moments to spare, Ron turned to Hermione. "You do know you're rhyming right?"


	2. Transfiguration

Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, Gryffindor Head, Transfiguration Professor, walked into her classroom, planning to lecture about the transformation of a tea kettle into a fish tank. Facing her class for the first time since she came in, she gave out a loud gasp of surprise, and horror.

"Why in Merlin's name is there a monkey in class??" she screeched, before getting into a sneezing fit. 

"That's Parvati, Professor," Neville replied. "It was a potion she drank that made her like that."

"What," McGonagall asked, sneezing, "potion was," she sneezed again, "it?" 

"It was a defective version of the Somnium Venenum, Professor." Neville informed.

"Miss Brown, would you," McGonagall sneezed, "please bring Miss," another sneeze, "Patil to the hos-" a sneeze once more broke her sentence, "hospital wing."

Lavender however, was not paying any attention to McGonagall as she was rather...busy. And unfortunately, McGonagall did see why.

"Miss Brown!" McGonagall screeched, "What are you doing," a sneeze, "to Mister Potter?!"

Lavender, who was preoccupied with Harry at the moment, ignored her professor, keen to finish her work. Professor McGonagall, who wanted Parvati out as soon as possible, asked Neville to do so instead.

She then proceeded to yell at her. "Brown! You will stop that at once! Let go of Mister Potter and listen!" Lavender finally pulled away from Harry, smiling contently. Harry was looking quite dazed, and his hair was an odd mix of pink and yellow, which caused Ron to snicker and for Hermione to disapprove.

"Now, what happened to all of you?" McGonagall asked, face covered with red blotches.

"Like Neville said Professor, Hermione's potion did these," Ron explained.

"Miss Granger?" McGonagall repeated, flabbergasted. 

"Is this true?" she asked.

"Yes, I must profess" Hermione admitted meekly. 

McGonagall continue gaping at Hermione before breaking out into another sneezing fit.

"Merlin's beard! Will," a sneeze, "someone please," another sneeze, "bring Miss Patil," a big sneeze, "to the hospital wing!" the loudest and wettest one yet.   

Dean who was sitting in front of McGonagall, flicked off the piece of imaginary dust only to rip out a portion of sleeve. Seamus, who was sitting beside him, started crying as McGonagall had sneezed on him.  Dean proceeded to tap him comfortingly on the back, only to choke him as Seamus started spluttering.

Parvati was jumping up and down on the table, causing McGonagall to sneeze more. Neville was trying hard to get her to calm down, but only got scratched by the hyper-active monkey. 

Lavender had wandered out of the class and was in the Charms corridor snogging every guy she came to contact in. Ron was teasing Harry about his hair which was a bright neon pink that reminded him of Tonks. And Hermione was handing her hanky over to McGonagall whose face was red and eyes, small squints. 

McGonagall's head spurred as the seconds passed. She had to get out of there! 

"Class," she sneezed, "dismissed!" she instructed before striding into her office, leaving the students to their own insanity.


	3. Neville the Rocker

"What's with the two of you? You look so happy, it can't be good," Hermione said, eyeing Harry and Ron suspiciously. Ron grinned back at her, eyes glued to the Slytherin table.

"What did you do? Did Harry do it too?" 

"Just wait and see Hermione, just wait and see." Harry replied, eyes still on the Slytherin side, not knowing that his was turning into a very bright shade of yellow. Hermione confused, followed the direction of their gazes to find herself staring into dark, grey eyes. Malfoy scowled at her, before going back to his meal. 

On his right, sat Goyle and Crabbe, and on his other side, was Pansy, who was clinging on to his arm, making it quite difficult for him to cut his steak. Two other Slytherins Hermione recognized as Blaise Zabini and Millicent Bulstrode, sat beside her. Hermione frowned. Why on earth would Harry and Ron be so interested in the Slytherins? She turned to ask them, only to be silenced by Ron's enthusiastic statement.

"Malfoy's drinking it! Malfoy's drinking it!" Ron stated eagerly, making not too subtle attempts of hiding the fact that he was pointing and staring.

Hermione went back to staring at the Slytherins as one by one, they drank their juice too. This too was happily pointed out by Ron and Harry, whose hair colour was as intense as the Hufflepuff's banner.

"I don't see anything off beam, is it something that is not what it seems?" Hermione asked. "Hold Hermione, you'll see," Ron replied.

A sudden screech from Pansy Parkinson caused Hermione to avert her attention to the Slytherin table. Pansy was hyper-ventilating. 

"How dare you touch me you scoundrel! Do you know how much of a sin it is??" and with, that she knelt on the floor and started praying. The whole school looked at her with mouths agape. Goyle was looking quite put out. 

The Gryffindor table broke out into laughs just as Snape came stomping towards them.

"Who is responsible for this?!" he rasped out angrily, glaring at Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Tell me now or you'll be in more trouble--" Snape was cut off by Neville, who had burst out into a song.

**"No attorneys**

**To plead my case**

**No opiates**

**To send me into outta space**

**And my fingers**

**Are bejeweled**

**With diamonds and gold**

**But that ain't gonna help me now"**

Neville got up on the table, kicking the plates of food off the table. 

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I disturb my town**

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

He crossed over to the Hufflepuff table with a clumsy leap. And began dancing awkwardly.

**You think your right**

**But**** you were wrong**

**You tried to take me**

**But**** I knew all along**

**You can take me**

**For a ride**

**I'm not a fool out**

**So you better run and hide**

He then jumped onto Snape, who fell, because of the increase in weight.

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

He did a series of cartwheels and somersaults which was done rather expertly.

**If you see me coming**

**Down the street then**

**You know it's time to**

**Go (and you know it's time to go**

**cause**** here comes trouble)**

He ran to the Slytherin table, where he made faces at Malfoy.

**No attorneys**

**To plead my case**

**No opiates**

**To send me into outta space**

**And my fingers**

**Are bejeweled**

**With diamonds and gold**

**But that ain't gonna help me now**

He kicked food into Crabbe's face and winked at Millicent.

**You think your right**

**But**** you were wrong**

**You tried to take me**

**But**** I knew all along**

**You can take me**

**For a ride**

**Cause I'm not a fool out**

**So you better run and hide**

He turned towards the Great Hall and did a complicated break-dance.

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I disturb my town**

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

Grabbing Snape once more, he spun him around, twirling around at the same pace.

**So if you see me coming**

**Down the street then**

**You know it's time to**

**Go (go-oh-oh...I got)**

Suddenly releasing Snape, who crashed into McGonagall, he danced on top of the professors' table, and finished the song.

**Trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

**I'm trouble**

**Yeah trouble now**

**I'm trouble ya'll**

**I got trouble in my town**

**I got trouble in my town**

**I got trouble in my town**

"Neville!" Ginny gasped, hand over her mouth in shock. Neville, finally realizing what had happened, ran out of the room, leaving a bewildered audience and a gawking Snape.


	4. Right, Left and Center

Hermione walked down the Transfiguration hallway to retrieve her eagle-feathered quill, a gift from Ginny, which she had left in the classroom. It was mid-way through dinner now, so most, or all, the students were very likely to be in the Great Hall. So, it was quite surprising for her, when she suddenly found herself pinned to a wall, staring into the face of a very livid Draco Malfoy.

"What did you do to me, Granger?"

"I do not know of what you imply, so how do you expect me to reply?"

"Don't kid with me, Granger. You did something; you're the only one smart enough to think of something like this!"

"You said I was bright, whatever has happened to your pride?"

Draco glared at her.

"It's your entire fault," he continued to mutter, "You've got me telling the truth right, left and center."

"Honestly, stop with the obscurity and tell me what's the intricacy!"

"You put me up that's what you did! You got me telling the whole bloody Slytherin Common Room that Voldemort's the ugliest wizard that ever lived."

Hermione was perplexed. How in the world did that relate to her?

"But it couldn't be me, because for the whole day, I've been in the library!"

"Then who was it? Do you know how much trouble I'm going to being once those whiny brats tell their parents?"

"Not enough, I do believe."

"Come on Granger, stop with this nonsense and get rid of this curse!"

"But Malfoy, I have done nothing of that sort, so stop being such a crackpot!"

"I am no crackpot! If it's anyone it's Potter."

Hermione's eyes turned into slits.

"Do not degrade my friends, if to your curse you want me to attend."

"Stop your silly babble and tell me Granger before I hex you into next week!"

"As if you can, you silly man."

"True, I probably can't. You'd hex me first wouldn't you, Granger? After all, I'd probably only know half of curses that you do."

There was a pregnant pause as both pairs of eyes widened.

_'Dear Merlin! He is cursed! Who in the world did he anger?'_

"Maybe there was Veritaserum, that you swallowedwith your rum?"

"I don't drink rum! But the pumpkin juice at lunch today had an odd taste too it. Had a distinct taste of strawberries in it."

_'Strawberries?'_

She remembered how Harry and Ron were during lunch. Absolutely ecstatic as they stared at the Slytherin table. At the particular section of the Slytherin table. Namely the section where Malfoy and company sat.

_'They didn't!' _

Ron looked as if he had been selected to be the Chudley Cannons new keeper, and Harry's hair had been such a bright shade of yellow. She recalled on how she had read somewhere that the colour yellow, meant happiness.

She sighed.

_'They did.'_

"I think I may know what has transpired, yet I'd doubt that the answer would be desired."

Malfoy snarled. "Just tell me Granger, _please_."

His hands slapped across his mouth at the foreign, kind word that had escaped. Hermione felt her eyebrows rising up. He scowled at her and motioned for her to go on.

"I declare, my potion, you have fare."

"Fare?"

"Imbibe."

"Oh."

There was a long period of silence as the information was processed by Malfoy's brain. Finally, he eyes widened and his throat produced a weird growling sound.

"I despise you, Granger! You and your stupid, lame rhyming!"


End file.
